Yesterday I looked in the mirror and liked my baby locs. It was like all of a sudden, I could really see them as the cute fuzzy , healthy locs they are and not short messy, indistinguishable forms of hair that I had been seeing them as for weeks. I know the beauty they will collectively become. But at times, I couldn’t help thinking of them as my mother sees them in their beginning stage – kind of ugly.
Yesterday, I decided to go out with my locs as they are. Not covered by a headwrap or my new lace-front wig. I’d been thinking that with the wig, I could cover up my locs for a few days or weeks, and have a cute new look in the meantime. But I’ve also been a bit wary of the wig. It’s big. It looked hot in the store in downtown Toronto where I bought it from, but where I live, where unless you’re a squeegee kid with purple white locs and a lot of piercings, people don’t really stand out too much. So the wig would call attention to me especially since I don’t tend to wear them. I may want to stand out every now and then but not because of my big curly wig. I chose it over a straight one because I like curly hair on me better than straight even though I guess straight is more inconspicuous. Anyway, I just wanted something to wear over my locs as they continue to mature.
I’ve been touching my hair a lot. Generally pleased with my newly forming treasures, my fingers are constantly in my hair feeling where the loc puffs out along the length as if pregnant. This is called ‘budding’. I feel waves of new growth, eager for my next retwist. I feel the hair tighten at the base of the loc just after the new growth, an indication that the hair is actually locking around itself! Perhaps this is on a much smaller scale, similar to the excitement an expectant mother feels about the person forming in her womb. But as I familiarize myself with the transformation of each strand, I’m feeling that some of my two-strand twists with which I started my lcos, are starting to separate. I can’t stand split locs so I’m gonna have to back off and keep my fingers out of my hair. All the more more reason to cover them up for some time. Kinda like the way you need to protect a baby still forming.
But yesterday, oh yesterday! I said babies, you’re coming out! I just saw them and they looked cute to me. I saw through the fuzz, and the shortness and said ‘Hey! even though you’re not typically pretty yet, even for a lot of locers who prefer the neat, manicured look (myself included), I like you today and I accept you.’
‘You look nice today.’ I said to myslf, ‘Yeah, actually nice’. So I wore it out and it felt good. And though the lace-front is still an arm’s length away as is my headwrap collection, I’m hoping I’ll have more days like yesterday.
